Yes, she’s talking to you…

↓ Transcript
Oh, good, you're still here. While we're waiting for Ace to get changed, please come sit down.

As you're probably aware, today is December 21st, 2012. It's going to be a big day for me. But not in the way some might think. There is no Mayan β€œEnd of the World” prophesy. It's simply the end of the current calender cycle. Not much unlike December 31st being the end of the year.

If the Mayans were any good at predicting the future, there would still be a Mayan civilization.

Simply, the World is not ending today. There would have been a memo and I haven't seen one. As such, I advise actually waiting for any such end, as suicides are not eligible for Rapture.

Who knows, you might end up being one of the survivors. Maybe you can be the leader that helps rebuild and put Humanity on the right path.

So hang in there! I expect to be picking up lots and lots of idiots today and I expect to NOT be seeing you.

Also I want to wish you safe and happy holidays! Celebrate responsibly and use a designated driver when it's appropriate.

Oh! And get that mole looked at...