The Scary Voice
Jun01
↓ Transcript
Ace sat at his workstation in bewilderment. He started to ask himself, "How did he ...?" when Carly entered the office.
"Ace! Quitting time! You coming with me or not?" Carly asked.
Ace turned to Carly, "Well, every place I've checked wants a credit history and a recommendation from a previous landlord. I don't have either."
Ace masaged his brow, "So I guess I may have to take you up on your offer."
Carly scowled and in a scary voice, said, "Don't make it sound like your last choice."
"Ace! Quitting time! You coming with me or not?" Carly asked.
Ace turned to Carly, "Well, every place I've checked wants a credit history and a recommendation from a previous landlord. I don't have either."
Ace masaged his brow, "So I guess I may have to take you up on your offer."
Carly scowled and in a scary voice, said, "Don't make it sound like your last choice."
Ace, the phrasing you wanted there was “so I’m afraid I’m going to have to impose upon your generous nature.”
Also Birth of the Scary Carly Voice (coming to theaters near you soon)
Ace, if Carly is breaking-out the “SCARY_VOICE”©®™, then you need to respond with a face-&-voice that is stern, sincere, but NOT angry:
“Carly, in my heart-of-hearts, the act of imposing upon my friends must ALWAYS be a last resort, because anything else runs the risk of making this sort of imposition a reflexive habit, which will in-turn cause resentment, & estrangement from my friends.
I truly believe that the best way to avoid this ‘slippery slope’ is to avoid anything that might seem like the first step down it.
So, yes, this IS my last choice, because I’d rather do ANYTHING_ELSE, rather than risk taking advantage of my friends.
For what it’s worth, I turned-down an offer to move-in with my uncle’s family.
I chose YOU over my blood-relations, because while they are all FAMILY, some of them are not FRIENDS.
If this is a problem for you, then I’ll continue to search elsewhere, but I’m hoping that you can accept this about me.”
Long, but sometimes explanations need to be long to fully, well, explain what you mean to avoid ‘problems’
Unfortunately, far too many people view ‘explanations’ as ‘excuses’ (usually because they are idiots who make excuses for when they get caught doing something wrong)
@[Guesticules]:
It IS verbose, I grant you, but if brevity is needed, then perhaps he could open with the 3rd sentence in that hypothetical reply (“…yes, this IS my last choice,…”), & then fill-in the rest, based on Carly’s reaction.
This plan is based on thoughts that I’ll explain in my response to [Greywolf1963] below.
I had actually meant what Ace should have said in immediate response to “Are you coming or not?” Once you’ve triggered the scary voice common polite phrases will not save you, and it is indeed time to bust out the flowery groveling.
@[Greywolf1963]:
Well, that IS one way to go, but it would send the message that Ace is so easily intimidated by females that Carly can rely on this method to push Ace around.
My proposed response was meant to say: “If I’ve messed-up, then I’ll face the consequences without running, but I won’t back-down from wanting to be considerate of my friends’ generosity.”
This “Stick To My Guns” strategy is based upon 3 things, two of which Ace knows, & the other he’ll learn later:
1)“Stern, Sincere, but NOT Angry” is an attitude that says: “My friends matter to me – YOU matter to me – & I will NOT impose casually upon you!”
2)__Carly knows that Ace is part-owner of the company, & the “Sincere, but NOT Angry” part says that he’s not going to use that to throw his weight around.
3)__What Ace learns later is that while Carly won’t back-down from combat, they prefer to AVOID confrontation, if possible. … ( citing examples would require leaking spoilers, so I won’t – I may’ve already said too much __)
It wouldn’t be a retreat if he had said it the way I suggested in response to Carly’s initial inquiry. Instead Ace spoke without thinking it through and ended up hurting Carly’s feelings. Keeping in mind that he not only hopes to share living quarters, but Carly also work a position at the place Ace works that will be nearly impossible to avoid crossing paths with Carly. The best way to deal with the scary voice is to avoid doing things that are apt to trigger it. Whether Ace is easily intimidated by women or not is not at issue here. Offending a person who knows where you sleep is unwise as is annoying the person who prints out you paycheck. And we also learn that while Carly does not care for confrontation, a well developed sense of revenge does not require Carly engage in any confrontation, and likely hurts more than a punch in the nose.
@[Greywolf1963]:
All good points.