CHAPTER 19–REFRESHMENT
No bacon?!
Hans was awakened the next morning by a handmaiden he’d not seen before. Seidr was already gone. He dressed quickly in the yellow tunic and bright red kilt she presented him with, tossing Seidr’s tartan over his shoulders. It wasn’t til he was outside the door that he wondered at how he’d been dressing of late.
She said little as she collected Jinsoku and Dave as well. What he wouldn’t give for the clean shirt, jeans, and running shoes they had on.
She let them out to the courtyard. A number of tables had been set up in it. Food was being served even as they were led out. Hans and Jinsoku were both amazed at the number of coy smiles, wicked grins, and promising winks Dave got. There was no sign of Gná, Za, or Seidr.
They were seated at one end of a table, Hans across from Dave and Jinsoku. There seemed to be a brief tussle over which elf would sit next to Dave. Hans didn’t recognize the elf sitting next to him, but she seemed more interested in being across from Dave anyway. That was entirely typical really, not that he wanted anyone’s attention but Seidr’s.
Hans kept looking about. “Have either of you seen Seidr? She was gone when I woke up.”
Dave rubbed at the stubble on his chin. Hans conjectured he’d probably gotten a shave last night or it would have been longer. Hans didn’t know anyone else, especially not his age, that actually shaved twice a day. Someone had once joked to him that Dave was probably born needing a shave. To their consternation Hans stated that he knew for a fact that Dave didn’t start shaving until he was nearly 12.
Dave looked about, too. “I haven’t met her yet, but Hasaki says she’s a real hottie.”
Seidr, wearing a plain, tunic-like dress and skirt of undyed linen, appeared between Dave and Jinsoku. She set bowls of boiled grain before them. “I trust that’s a good thing, Friend Gordon?”
“Wow! You are. I mean it is. Hello.”
Seidr released a winning smile. “I’m pleased to meet you as well.”
Hans shook his head and said, in wonderment, “Every time I wake up, you’re cooking.”
Seidr winked at him. “After a night in your arms, I wake up hungry. The kitchen was understaffed, so I decided to make myself useful. There’s not so much as a strip of fat to be found, but I did score us some eggs and cheese.”
Seidr set down plates of cheese and vegetable omelettes. A passing elf put down bows of gruel. Other diners put pinches of some kind of spice, or dried fruits in thiers. Butter, cream, jam, honey and maple syrup were also at hand. Flatbread also seemed to be popular.
Fortunately it looked like omelettes were also being made for others, too. After yesterday, everyone would be hungry. Hans wondered how long reserves would hold out, though.
She kissed Hans and said, “Save me some. I’m going to go serve one of these to Gná personally.”
She all but skipped away.
Jinsoku said, offhand, “The Queen doesn’t like Seidr all that much, not that she’s helping her case much.”
Hans arched a brow. “You didn’t say ‘My Lady.'”
Jinsoku watched Seidr’s departure a moment more before turning back to his friends. “Mmm. No. She said some disturbing things in her chambers last night. She implied that Seidr may have betrayed the location of the hall. And she wants me to spy on her as well.”
He heaved a sigh. “Plain, old racism. I thought I’d escape it here. Funny that Mankind approaches enlightenment faster than Aelfkind.”
Hans nodded sadly. “I guess that would explain the animosity.”
Dave yawned.
Jinsoku turned on Dave. “We boring you, Dude?”
Dave shook his head, as if to shake any further yawns into submission. “Huh? No. I, uh, didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Hans grinned. “‘Take a number’ back fired, huh?”
Dave blushed. “Did it ever. I’m booked for the week no less.”
Jinsoku frowned from confusion. “‘Take a number?'”
Hans smirked. “It seems Friend Gordon made many new friends last night. The poor things are having to take turns.”
Jinsoku stared at Dave. “‘Take a number?'”
Dave held his hands up, palms out, as if surrendering. “I was only planning to massage sore muscles, honest.”
Hans did a thumbs-up at Dave and said, with a grin, “‘Donka’ rides again.”
Dave scowled. “Hey, you know darn well I’m really called ‘Donka’ because of that pack I haul around. We were just kidding you, Jinsoku.”
Hans laughed. “Um, Gordon, did you ever wonder why you, the shortest guy in school, never had trouble getting dates, or why the cheerleading squad beat the crap out of that jock that was picking on you?”
Jinsoku shook his head. “The whole cheerleading squad?”
Dave made a raspberry sound. “Only six of them, I think.”
Jinsoku choked out, “‘Only six?’ Where do you find the time?”
Hans grinned evilly. “They smuggled him onto an event bus. He was kept busy coming and going.”
Jinsoku scowled. “Now I know you guys are joshing me. They always have a chaperone on those busses.”
Dave had a far away look on his face. “Yeah . . .” He shook his head. “Um, yeah, Miss Carlisle.”
Jinsoku’s jaw hung open as he held his hands about five inches from his chest. “Just how far through this list did you get last night anyway?”
Dave shrugged. “Well Hans and Seidr woke us all up so . . .”
He tallied on his fingers.
The second elf down from Dave, the first one Dave had rescued as a matter of fact, waved a numbered slip of paper, with a big “13” written on it. “I’m next. Right after you check my bandages,” she said.
Dave wagged his finger at her. “After I check everyone’s bandages, tonight. And that’s only if I decide you’ve got the strength.”
She pouted.
Jinsoku took a few moments to recover before needling Dave. “I thought doctors didn’t fraternize with their patients.”
Dave managed glare and grin at the same time. “You try saying ‘fraternize’ with a tongue in each ear some time.”
Hans warned, “Be careful, Gordon. These elves are looking to start a whole new generation.”
Dave frowned and gave a short shake of his head. “I don’t know about you two, but I always use protection. Anyway, Gná’s forbidden pregnancies until Loki is defeated. Something about not wanting children to be at risk.”
Hans frowned as well. “Forbidden? But how?”
Dave suddenly seemed more alert. “Well, it’s actually true that elves don’t age. They’re effectively immortal. What’s really wild is that elf women only ovulate at will. I guess if all you have to worry about is death from illness or injury, then a regular fertility cycle, even if it were only annual, would result in overpopulation in just a few generations.”
He paused for a drink. “You know they actually thought humans had so many children in a lifetime because they loved kids. I explained that’s usually the case, but when I got to the part about the monthly cycle, I thought some of them were going to be sick. They really can’t handle the idea of a woman becoming pregnant without wanting to be.”
Dave looked about and said, in a conspiratorial tone, “So, um, how did you guys do?”
Jinsoku leaned back, “It’s not something a gentleman talks about. Let’s just say Za seems to be the only one that isn’t treating me like I’m off limits.”
A bowl of fruit was set before them. Jinsoku snagged the apple from the top.
Hans leaned toward Jinsoku. “The two of you didn’t even notice when Seidr opened the door on you.”
He leaned closer and asked, “What about your meeting with the queen?”
Jinsoku choked on a piece of apple momentarily. He held his hands up. “I swear, Dude, all we did was talk.”
Dave asked, “And you, Madison? I head a lot of noise coming from your room.”
Seidr joined them, making the elf next to Hans move down. “He was his usual wonderful self, of course. Mind you, his only other prospect about here is Gná. No other woman dares touch him lest she incur the queen’s wrath.”
She paused thoughtfully, finger to her chin. “Hmm. Maybe she’d stop ‘busting my chops’ if I let her have a go at you. At least my child would have a sibling and playmate.”
≪Oh that’s all I need in my life, two tail pullers sired by a god slayer.≫
Hans found himself speechless.
Jinsoku looked Hans in the eye, “A word of advice, Madison, from a guy that’s been married a few times. Always let your woman know who’s boss. The correct phrase is, ‘Yes Dear.'”
Dave asked, “Is there a plural form?”
Hans shook his head. “Wise guys.”
Next: CHAPTER 20–DISCLOSURE
https://www.tmi-comic.com/web-novels/aelfheim/
Copyright AndyOH! (Andrew F. Odendhal)
Not for redistribution. All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead is coincidental.
I love the interjections by Bast that only Madison can hear, I think. Any confirmation that Seidr can or can’t hear what Bast is thinking?
I’ve not seen any indication that Hans is hearing Bast. I think it’s only Seidr who hears her.
[Opus the Poet]:
I currently suspect that the truth lies somewhere BETWEEN both you-&-[al mar].
Yes, Seidr has demonstrated a clear-&-conscious awareness of Bast’s opinions, such as in [Ch.06]:
_She sat up abruptly. “Though this ‘pawing animal’ thing sounds like it might be fun.”
≪It is.≫
“You stay out of this,” Seidr muttered.
Hans sat up and looked at her. “Stay out of what?” he asked.
Seidr apologized, “Sorry, just, answering a ‘stray’ thought out loud.”_
Meanwhile, it appears that Hans does have some connection to Bast, but it also seems to be less conscious, & more likely to be on some emotional level, of which he might not (yet) be fully aware, as in [Ch.17]:
_Hans commented, “So a little bird told you I needed you?”
“Yes. Apparently he can come and go anywhere he pleases, warded or not.”
≪Scared the piss out of me is what he did!≫
Hans laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
He shrugged, “I just had an amusing thought about how Bast might have reacted to his sudden appearance.”_
[DMC Run]
That last point may just be a case of common empathy. I mean even I can see how a cat would react to a crow (prey) growing into a man (threat) before she could pounce.
Hans is physically reacting to Bast’s psychic comments, so he must be hearing them.
Is he speechless because of what Bast thought, or what Seidr said just before Bast thought?
[VARIOUS_THOUGHTS]:
( … & as I proofread this, I’m sorry-in-advance for how long this has become … )
1)__Re_ “this text-block”:
[=====]
A passing elf put down bows of gruel. Other diners put pinches of some kind of spice, or dried fruits in thiers. Butter, cream, jam, honey and maple syrup were also at hand. Flatbread also seemed to be popular.
[=====]
1A)__POSSIBLE_TYPO: “bowls”, not “bows” … ?
1B)__SPELLCHECK_FAIL: “thiers”
1C)__STYLE_SUGGESTION: “also” is used twice in quick succession, which ‘scans’ awkwardly. I’d replace the first “also” with “readily”, or just remove it altogether.
2)__”Funny that Mankind approaches enlightenment faster than Aelfkind.”
=====I’d imagine that if serious illness or a violent death were your only obstacles to Immortality, one might feel less rushed about changing your habit-patterns.
3)__”Jinsoku’s jaw hung open as he held his hands about five inches from his chest.”
=====I’m picturing 3 different forms of this gesture. In which direction were his palms facing?
4)__”What’s really wild is that elf women only ovulate at will.”:
=====Which leads me to wonder just how much control they have over choosing the baby’s gender … ?
(Seidr has never shown any uncertainty that her child will be male — of COURSE she knows!)
In any event, if conception is by choice, then I think that each baby becomes even MORE highly-prized, & a man should feel both honored-&-flattered to be accepted as their sire.
5)__”They really can’t handle the idea of a woman becoming pregnant without wanting to be.”:
=====This surprises me. I’d expect them to already be familiar with this notion, from their close association with the lifecycle of livestock. Revulsion would then imply that they suddenly view human females (& by extension, males also) as being much more similar to livestock (I.E.: “Livestock that look disturbingly similar to US!!?!”) than they’d previously imagined. How would YOU feel, if you suddenly learned that sex with a sheep (or cow, or pig, or goat) could produce viable offspring?!?
6)__”Maybe she’d stop ‘busting my chops’ if I let her have a go at you.”:
=====In an attempt to turn this back upon Seidr, I’d say that Hans could suggest the following terms:
— Hans will NOT EVER have sex with Gná, under any circumstances. That’s NOT open to negotiation.
— A CONVERSATION will be had. One. With all 3 persons in the same place, not 3 separate one-on-one talks.
— There will be a complete ‘Clearing of the Air’, with no evasions, & no omissions.
— If acceptable terms are agreed-upon by Hans-&-Seidr-&-Gná, then,
— Hans will make love to Seidr, while Gná watches. Once he has entrusted her with his seed, it is now hers, to be used as she thinks best.
— Only then will Gná join Seidr in bed, & be given his seed, from Seidr.
This would be Gná’s punishment, for abducting Hans from Seidr, for trying to seduce him into being unfaithful, & for lying to Seidr (using visions taken out-of-context), to try & break them up. Let’s not forget that Gná started this whole mess by dumping him – unprepared – into a LETHAL ‘sink-or-swim’-situation. I’m not saying that Gná’s situation isn’t dire, but that doesn’t change the fact that the way she used him was both ruthless & heartlessly tactical, & we have only her verbal claim that she had some way to rescue him if need be (or that she’d even USE it). If Gná truly wants a baby with Hans that badly, then she needs to show MORE than merely verbal contrition.
Now my point here is, if Seidr has a problem with this proposal, then Hans has legitimate grounds to ask her to stop offering her man to others, like a prized ‘thing’, & instead find some OTHER way to ‘fish’ for loving compliments from him. Something that does NOT involve either Infidelity or Flaunting. He has already shown that he’s OK with verbal combat, but none of his ‘jousts’ have ever involved these tactics, either explicitly OR implicitly.
4) It’s one thing to be able to choose when to ovulate, it’s something entirely else to be able to choose the gender of the child inside the womb without outside forces manipulating things at the DNA level
6) That’s… not how one passes on ones seed, not unless Seidr is able to grow a penis (like some stories concerning Incubus and Succubae), and Hans has already given Seidr his seed, else she would not be now carrying his child
As for the last part: Gna dropped Hans into that situation before Seidr formally laid claim to him, plus, it seems more that Seidr slept with him (with the goal of becoming pregnant) to spite Gna). Do be remembering that she cast a spell on his heart (and soul), basically enthralling him
Except I have heard too many stories about lesbians with bisexual GF getting pregnant from contact after the one had sex with a man and transferred enough semen while scissoring to enable pregnancy. Sure that’s a low probability pregnancy, but they have happened. The one I know of personally had a “queef” involved.
And yes, this was how the arc in “Moon Over June” about Hatsuki’s pregnancy went, and I’m not basing anything from that, except that I read that arc before my lesbian friend got pregnant from a man she never had sex with.
[Guesticus]:
4)__”It’s one thing to be able to choose when to ovulate, it’s something entirely else to be able to choose the gender of the child…”:
[=====]True, it’s an entirely different ability. I seem to recall that, as far back as the 1960’s, it was noticed that sperm-cells swam at slightly different speeds, depending on whether they carried an “X” or “Y” chromosome. What if Aelf-kind had some magic-based method of favoring one gender of sperm-cell over the other? I just wondered.
6)__”That’s… not how one passes on ones seed…”:
[=====]I agree, this is SIGNIFICANTLY less-than-optimal as a conception-procedure. That’s a BIG part of the point in my penultimate paragraph. How genuine is Gná’s contrition, for the way that she’s treated Hans so far? Talk is cheap — what is she willing to DO, to prove that it’s not just talk, & that she’s truly sorry?
“…Hans has already given Seidr his seed…”:
[=====]Yes, we know, & now that she’s pregnant, is Hans expected to refrain from having any further orgasms for the duration of her pregnancy? Is he currently allowed to express his love for her only in non-sexual ways?
😛 … 😛 … 😛
The point in my FINAL paragraph is that this procedure is SO outrageous that Seidr is very unlikely to agree to it. It is INTENDED to be unreasonable, to counter HER unacceptable suggestion, that Hans might be “shared” between 2 females, who have been at-odds with each other for centuries longer than he’s lived. Seidr’s suggestion ignores HIS feelings, glossing-over the possibility that Hans has any say in this matter. He’s already said REPEATEDLY that he desires monogamy, & he’s never employed so much as the mere NOTION of infidelity, even just when bantering with Seidr.
“Gna dropped Hans into that situation before Seidr formally laid claim to him…”:
[=====]Really? … “Hands-off — I stole him FIRST!!!” … Seriously?
😛
True, Gná DID have him first, & in my opinion, her usage of him had little-or-no evidence of an exit-strategy for saving him, if he had failed to kill the Fenris-Wolf. She claimed that Seidr blocked her rescue-attempt, but we’ve seen no corroboration of this. Her talks with her sister Za (in CH_07 & CH_11) also support this “ruthless” interpretation of her motives. Once Seidr rescued-&-healed him, Gná wasted little time stealing him yet again. Sorry, but if I was looking at this from Hans’ viewpoint, then I’d say that Seidr is clearly the preferred “thief” here, even if she was originally only planning on using him for “breeding stock”, just like Gná.
“…it seems more that Seidr slept with him (with the goal of becoming pregnant) to spite Gna…”:
[=====]In re-reading the chapters, I’d have to disagree. Yes, Seidr DOES take pleasure in teasing Gná (no question there!), but just as Gná’s tribe faces the threat of Loki, Seidr’s tribe has their own troubles, as mentioned in CH_18:
[]
“The child I carry will be powerful. Perhaps even strong enough to slay the giant, Thiassi, that holds my people in thrall. That’s why I wanted you.”
[]
… so both of these women seem certain that Hans will sire powerful warriors, & if Gná fails to get pregnant by him, she’s already said that she’s prepared to use Seidr’s child, for the sake of her tribe.
Still, if she needs a child of Thor’s bloodline so desperately, why wouldn’t she mate with Hans’ father?
What about Hans’ 2 grandfather(s), or his 4 great-grandfather(s)?
What was wrong with them?
“Do be remembering that she cast a spell on his heart (and soul), basically enthralling him”:
[=====]That might be Gná’s opinion on the matter (as she first said in CH_05), but the Author’s description (in CH_04) casts the incident in a slightly different light. Whatever Seidr’s original plan, Seidr seems to be genuinely ensnared in this spell too, perhaps more deeply than she might’ve intended. As for the “Speak-Truth-Spell” that she cast on him (also in CH_05), I expressed some doubt at the time, about whether it would wear-off or not, but we currently have no CERTAINTY that it’s permanent. I’m still waiting for a more definite form of proof, one way or the other.
As you pointed out, Seidr was originally only interested in Hans for the children he could sire, not him himself
At least, not until, as you pointed out, that she got snared by her own spell
Not saying either Gna or Seidr is in the right (or the wrong), just pointing out that Seidr isn’t as unselfish as she is being portrayed
[Guesticus]:
On this we can agree.
I don’t see EITHER of them as selfless, I just think Gná has (so far) come across as the (marginally) less pleasant of the 2.
Meanwhile, I’m still mulling-over Hel’s warning, in [Chap.12].
Which female, posing as a friend, is Hans’ true enemy? I can picture 4 primary “contenders”, & with an entire tribe of Gná’s sisters-in-arms at-hand, we have plenty of extra choices.
Personally, would considering the one with truly duplicitous actions, the one who was caught in her own machinations
This is Andy’s mom, posting to let you know he’s seriously ill and currently in the hospital. I’m seeing strong signs of recovery, but I think it’s going to be a while before he can return to TMI. I know you wish him well. If you’d like to send him greetings, I’ll pass them on to him.
On_A_Separate_Note:
I notice that there’s no link at the end of Ch_17, to the next Chapter.
[Guesticus]:
Yeah, the one who lies by way of omission & misdirection, but can’t do it skillfully-enough to avoid getting caught in the act? She’s my prime suspect.
But given [AndyOH!]’s track record of sneaky plotting & surprise twist reveals, she might be just a bit TOO obvious.
(a “red herring”, if you will)
I’m keeping a jaundiced eye out for any other possible culprits, just in case.
Yeah, same: she’s the obvious ‘not-obvious’ trick-solution, so there is bound to be another (unless this is all a trick to make us doubt our reasonings… )
This is Andy’s mom giving you an update on him. I’m not able to get into his site as an administrator for some reason (I’m not astute about those things like he is). He’s still ill and hospitalized but out of the woods except for the unfortunate fact that his blood pressure drops too much with exertion. But his progress has been phenomenally good, thanks to his own determination and wonderful medical care. He’s expected to need longer care and therapy before he can come home and get back on his computer. He really misses you guys and can’t wait to get back.
You can’t know how relieved that statement makes some of us feel (not saying there are people not relieved, just that I don’t want to put words and/or feelings in anyone’s mouth).
GOD BLESS Glad to here he is doing better Delle tell him we miss him .
[AndyOH!]:
Re_[Dave asked, “And you, Madison? I head a lot of noise coming from your room.”]:
It took me WAY too long to notice that it’s supposed to be “HEARD”, not “HEAD”.
#ISuckAtProofreading